Boardwalk Times at 7: 7 Theme Park Attractions from 1977 That We Miss
Another 7th anniversary list — This time with more 7s!
Another 7th-anniversary list — This time with more 7s!
April 2nd marks the 7th anniversary of Boardwalk Times and, to celebrate that, we’ll be doing a few Top 7 lists! Today is my list of 7 themed attractions from 1977 (Cheeky or clever, you decide!) that are no longer around; attractions we’d love to do just one more time.
LaSalle’s River Adventure (1961) — Six Flags Over Texas
One wouldn’t know it to look at it now, but Six Flags Over Texas, the first of the Six Flags regional parks, was a Disneyland-inspired themed environment for its first few decades; quite different from the thrill ride-based amusement park that it is now. The LaSalle’s River Adventure ride, while clearly lifted from Disneyland’s Jungle Cruise attraction, had a lot that made it unique. Its far more intricate narrative about trying to locate the explorers who had come this way before made it a more serious ride in many ways and an inside “cave of treasures” scene reached by a waterfall parting in front of your boat one-upped Disney in a way that may have, in turn, influenced the Magic Kingdom’s Jungle Cruise Cambodian Ruins scene years later.
The Cave (1964) — Six Flags Over Texas
Often referred to as “The Spee-lunker’s Cave” by fans of the attraction, this was a moody boat ride with comic vignettes that combined elements of Disneyland’s Pirates of the Caribbean (1967), the Santa Cruz Boardwalk’s Cave Train (1961), the rotating rock tunnel from Universal Studios’ Tram Studio Tour, and it even predicted the spinning vehicles of Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin (1994) (though these boats spun erratically at the whims of the water and allowed no human intervention). A spiritual sequel to the ride, Pirates of Speelunker Cave (2022) has now moved into the old tunnels after many decades of the Spee-lunker’s absence, but the higher tech screen-based ride is just not the same.
Mickey Mouse Review (1971) — Magic Kingdom
This Florida show did a better job of immersing an audience in the fantasy world of classic Disney characters than any dark ride ever has. Ostensibly a concert, conducted by Mickey Mouse, featuring an orchestra of Disney characters — primarily ones from the first half of the 20th Century — this show used limited animatronics and clever stage effects to propel the audience through the songs and stories of Walt Disney’s first few decades of entertainment in an engrossing and delightful way.
Relatively unchanged, the show played for almost a quarter century in Tokyo Disneyland but has now given way to Mickey’s Philharmagic (2003) in both Florida and Japan.
Knott’s Bear-y Tales (1975) — Knott’s Berry Farm
The creation Knott’s Bear-y Tales is a story of pure artistic intention. One of Walt Disney’s greatest Imagineers, Rolly Crump, was given limited budget and space, but absolute creative free rein otherwise, to design this trippy, effects-rich, experiment of a ride; loosely threaded along the narrative of bear siblings, Boysen and Girlsen, trying to get their boysenberry pies to the county fair. Rolly later claimed that the Knotts relationship encouraged him to try outlandish ideas that Disney had never allowed and with that, he created something very personal, very Rolly Crump.
America Sings (1974) — Disneyland
Folk music legends Burl Ives, Jean Ritchie, and others join contemporary performers such as The Golden Horseshoe Review’s Betty Taylor in this history of American music which ran in the Carousel Theater — formerly the home of the Carousel of Progress (1964) — which was put together to celebrate the nation’s Bicentennial. While the performance might not have had the old show’s richness, it was fast-paced and funny, and the song performances were top-notch.
When the show was closed, many of the animatronic figures were relocated to attractions like Splash Mountain (1989) and Star Tours (1987). And speaking of Star Tours…
Adventure Thru Inner Space (1967) — Disneyland
Quite possibly the most unique attraction in Disneyland’s history, riders boarded an Omnimover-style vehicle — pre-Haunted Mansion — which entered the “Mighty Microscope” to be shrunk small enough to enter a water molecule. The show scenes in the ride leaned towards the abstract rather than trying to depict some sort of representational idea of being inside a molecule, and then an atom. This, combined with Paul (“Ghost Host”) Frees’ existential narration and the haunting musical soundtrack, made for a theme park experience like no other, before or since.
The ride was replaced by Star Tours which would be the launch of non-Disney intellectual property taking up residence in the Mouse’s theme parks.
The Golden Horseshoe Revue (1955) — Disneyland
It isn’t hard to find filmed parts of this show, which ran for over three decades in Frontierland, online. Most of these have been broken up and restaged — it is remarkable that a show that was performed over 39,000 times seems to have never been filmed in its entirety — but you can get the idea of how much fun this was and why the show was one of Walt’s favorite places to spend time at in the park when he was there.
An anchor for Frontierland, the loss of the Revue continued a disturbing trend of diluting the area’s theme by siphoning off its parts. Critter Country and New Orleans Square have taken chunks out of it and the loss of the Mike Fink Keel Boats (1955), the only occasionally running Davy Crockett Explorer Canoes (1956), the conversion of Tom Sawyer Island (1956) to a Pirate’s themed area and the complete shutdown of the Rivers of America at night leave Disneyland’s Frontierland a little hollow.
If they’d only take that beautiful theater and put on a show again, it’d go a long way.
And a few honorable mentions:
Main Street Electrical Parade (1977) — Disneyland/Magic Kingdom
This would go on the main list (though I can’t imagine what I’d bump off to do it) if I weren’t pretty sure we would see it again at some point.
Flight to the Moon / Mission to Mars (1955) — Disneyland/Magic Kingdom
Even as a kid, these started to lose their charm for me as the rudimentary simulators just couldn’t hold up to more modern mechanisms. But still, those pre-shows were great.
Rainbow Caverns Mine Train/Mine Train Through Nature’s Wonderland (1956) — Disneyland
Much of this area is now covered by Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (1979), but it would be nice to take the slow trip through Nature’s Wonderland again.
Submarine Voyage/20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1959) — Disneyland/Magic Kingdom
Wonderful attractions that have seen their day come and go, these undersea voyages probably don’t really hold together as an experience anymore: as evidenced by the re-worked Disneyland version, Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage (2007), which seems to be a Frankenstein version of the worst parts of both the original Submarine Voyage and The Seas With Nemo and Friends (2007) from EPCOT.
But I so loved them as a kid!
So there’s my list. Were you around in 1977? What do you wish you could go back and visit just once?
Oh, and as a special treat, here’s my guide to how you actually kinda CAN go back and experience some of these attractions, virtually at least.
Give it a try!
For more on Wally Boag and The Golden Horseshoe Revue, check this out:
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Kelly McCubbin is a columnist for Boardwalk Times